a bright blue cotton dress
Mixed Media; plastic, wood, candles, paper, glass • 13"h x 18"w x 8"d
©2007 ROSE CLANCY

a bright blue cotton dress is a retrospective examination of my experience as a child of a mother who suffered throughout her life with the untreated mental illness of major depression. This examination is realized in the form of a “paperless” sculptural scrolling book. The images are silk screened onto acetate and housed inside the pockets of a roll of salvaged clear plastic packing material that scrolls between two glass candlesticks. Corrugated paper and wood were used to create the mechanical movement and the base.

The narrative: she did not know that she was falling apart as her thoughts unraveled and twisted themselves into a tangle of confusion like that of a thousand spools of unwound thread / desperately she cried out for a savior as she was swallowed by the black sea of depression, unable to grasp the hands that reached out to her / paranoia played her like a puppet depleting her soul of love and trust, leaving only a shell, a hollow void where the stranger that I did not recognize and could not love, came to reside / anxiety was the air in her lungs and it was the only thing with her as she took her last breath / like a bright blue cotton dress washed to an empty gray, she slowly faded and disappeared

As a young child, my Mother taught me about beauty, trust and love. Then, mental illness stepped in and changed everything. I watched as layers of psychotic thought clouded her sense of reality and buried her so deeply that I could not see her. While I have put the experience of her illness into a logical perspective, there is a painful sadness associated with this experience that logical thinking doesn’t address. The sadness of why. Why did this illness happen to my Mother — why does it happen to anyone?

It is my hope that by expressing my feelings through this book, others will find positive ways to express and release similar feelings — feelings that shouldn’t be held inside one’s self.